Monday, September 6, 2010

This is my life...

Somehow, somewhere, I got it into my head that I had to be the perfect girl. The perfect wife. The perfect mom. The perfect friend. The perfect daughter. Guess what? I was wrong. There was no great catastrophe that made me come to this conclusion. There was no wise person who single-handedly guided me to that place. So how did I come to accept that I'll never be "that girl"?

This picture.



I was putting the younger boy to bed for the zillilonth time tonight and I walked by the front window. And I saw it. I saw my life. So snapped a quick picture to remember it and the feelings it evoked.

I'm the girl who has bikes all over the yard- no matter how many times I say "put your bike away." I'm the girl who's lawn is completely overgrown in some spots and bare in others. I'm the girl who dyes her own hair in the bathroom because I'm too cheap to go to a salon. I'm the girl who's house will never be spotless no matter how hard I try. I'm the girl who can't decide which craft I want to focus on. I'm the girl who will always have crayon marks and Go-gurt stains on the walls. I'm the girl who struggles with her faith. I'm the girl who has spray paint on her sidewalk where the paper wasn't quite big enough for whatever project I was working on. I'm the girl who yells at her kids. I'm the girl who eats too much junk and not enough veggies. I'm the girl who married the perfect man for me. I'm the girl who has 2 amazing and aggravating boys who can drive you to drink and melt your heart all at the same time. I'm the girl who wears purple eyeliner. I'm the girl who loves her family so much that sometimes it hurts. I'm the girl who forgets birthdays. I'm the girl who is painfully awkward in social situations. I'm the girl who drinks too much diet soda. I'm the girl who is late for nearly everything.
I'm the girl who prays nightly that my friends and family will know how much they mean to me even if I don't say it out loud.

I am not the perfect girl. But this is my life. And I will live it the best I can.


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5 comments:

Kara said...

This is the girl who loves the girl who wrote this post so so much, who has had the girl who wrote this post save her life a million and a half time. The girl who has had the girl who wrote this post as a pretend sister (cause each of our moms needed us) and amazing family member. Who looks at the sweet family that belongs to the girl who wrote this post and says one day I hope to be as good as mom as her!! LOVE YOU MORE Then you will ever know!!

Lorie said...

And, following on Kara's note...

I'm the girl who knows and loves the girl who wrote this post but has never met her in real life. The girl who wrote this post lives in my computer, unfortunately for me! I'm the girl who e-mails the girl who wrote this post when things are tough because I know that the girl who wrote this post will have just the right words. And mostly I'm the girl who is so lucky to have the girl who wrote this post as a friend!

Much love and hugs to you and all of us moms who feel the exact same way as you! :o)

Bluegrape said...

Following the flow..

I'm the girl who enjoys reading the-girl-who-wrote-this-post and all her other posts, loving the-girl-who-wrote-this-post for being so honest about life the way she sees it. I'm the girl who looks up to the-girl-who-wrote-this-post for inspiration and admires her neat and pretty cards. I'm the girl who will continue to read and look forward to the-girl-who-wrote-this- post other posts. just because the-girl-who-wrote-this-post is so BELIEVABLE.
As a mom, thanks for this post. I feel normal again.

Kristine said...

Amen!

Lynn said...

I like you Girl just the way you are :) And guess what I feel the same exact way, I'll never be "that girl", some days I try and other days I've learned to just let it go.